Here's another of your questions answered.
This time from Jude... Thanks Jude! : )
"How would you address the situation if it was someone very close to you that was constantly presenting barriers to your success?? What do you do when you have a client that is doing phenominally well but can't appreciate the small things they achieve... glass always half empty kinda person...but always hard working."
Jude
Here's my answer...
Hi Jude
In the case of someone close to you presenting barriers to your success, I think that there are several powerful things you can do to either bring them onside or get past the barrier altogether.
First, I think it’s worth asking them what they are afraid of.
In truth, when a person you are close to tries to block you it’s usually because they have fear of some kind over where your success might take you.
Ask them.
Ask them what the fear is and understand that they probably won’t call it ‘fear’. They’ll likely say that they are concerned or worried. Same difference. It’s fear.
Let them have their say.
Let them go through their fears then repeat them back to them.
For example “So, you’re worried that if I make this project successful that we’ll have less time to spend together than we do right now? Ok, then what do you suggest is the best way to bring this to life AND not have our relationship affected? How would YOU deal with this?”
Often, hearing the fear from someone else’s lips is enough to make it appear as it is. Small, unfounded and… ridiculous (in most cases).
Further, having THEM create the solution takes the negative wind out of their sails and puts them into a positive mindset, one where they’re being asked to create a solution rather than focus on the problem. It’s very difficult to remain negative whilst being creative.
Finally, if the above fails and they are still actively engaged in sabotaging you, you need to ask if they are the right ‘fit’ for you. A difficult question to ask but one which MUST be asked if either of you are to be happy.
You see, I don’t believe that a successful relationship (of any kind) can come from a mindset of toleration. Of ‘putting up with’ each other. Of compromising.
Compromise as a concept is overrated. It means that both partners have lost something as opposed to both of them gaining what they really wanted. It’s lose-lose NOT win-win.
The key to success comes from being in the driving seat of your own life whilst not taking away from those around you. Giving up the keys to others serves no-one and ultimately creates only unhappiness for all concerned.
Now, your second question…
This too is a pretty simple one.
Prove it to them.
PROVE how well they are doing with weekly measurements, weekly photo’s, weekly ‘this is how far you have already come and this is how far we’ve left to go’.
Talk to them constantly about the ‘big picture’.
Keep the goal uppermost in their mind at all times by proactively creating conversations that talk only about the goals and what is left to be done. This is all vital.
But more vital still is digging down to that very core with the most important question of all.
‘WHY?”
The real power in goal achievement and motivation/inspiration is the clarity of knowing why the goal is important, what they are doing it for. Lose sight of the why and the goal degenerates into nothing more than a chore. Something to be gotten ‘out of the way’ rather than pursued and enjoyed.
Like the old saying goes ‘If you have a big enough ‘Why’ you can endure almost any ‘How’.
WHY is the real fuel of success and motivation.
Hope this helps!
Dax Moy
Fitness Marketing Tips For Personal Trainers
No comments:
Post a Comment